Sam's Banjo Song (for the lack of a better name) is a song Sam sings in the Telltale episode Situation: Comedy on Embarrassing Idol.

Text inside the brackets are the choices in the dialog box. The text outside is what Sam really says.

Lyrics[edit | edit source]

{spoken} Hello. I'd like to do a little song I call...

  • "Busted Down Hound Dog Blues"
  • "Trigger-Happy Hound Dog Blues
  • "Lazy, Smelly Ol' Hound Dog Blues"
  • "Love has a Thorny Backside"
  • "Love Is Creamed Chipped Beef on Toast"
  • "Love Makes Me Itch"
  • "Bottleneck on the Freeway of Doom"
  • "Feathers and Furious Scribbling"
  • "All About My Left Ear"
  • "Craving for Undeserved Fame and Fortune"
  • "The Agony of Having Everything You Want or Need"
  • "Just Like Someone Else's Song Only Somehow Better"

{clears throat}

  • [I am in terrible torment.] Howlin' at that drippy hunk of moo-n.
  • [I am unbelievably happy.] Shiny like a new mylar balloo-n.
  • [I am cryptic and therefore deep.] May the starfish justice not impu-gn.
  • [I am more successful than you.] Chompin' on a crunchy silver spoo-n.

  • [My girl is the greatest thing since sliced bread.] She's the headline, page one, The Tribu-ne.
  • [My girl is cheating on me.] She's at brunch today with some baboo-n.
  • [I've solved life's greatest mystery but I'm not telling.] Thinkin' 'bout the rings on the Great Raccoo-n.
  • [I am cooler and hipper than you will ever be.] Playin' cocktail angst on my bassoo-n.

  • [Pity me.] Road to someday, bits of me are stre-wn.
  • [Admire me.] All the girlies hear me and they swoo-n.
  • [Let me remind you that I write songs.] And so I wrote this extremely catchy tu-ne.
  • [I'll say anything just to make it rhyme.] Blowin' like a zephyr on a du-ne.

Notes[edit | edit source]

  • This song can be heard on Stinky's jukebox in Season 2.
  • In Chariots of the Dogs, Young Pedro mentions he knows Sam from this song. He "compliments" Sam for giving hope to anyone who wants a singing career, by showing that even someone with no talent like Sam could get a recording contract.
  • Sam has played the banjo and made up songs off the top of his head several times in the past, to Max's displeasure.
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