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Chariots of the Dogs
Telltale episode
S2 e4 titlecard.jpg
Episode # 204
Villain T.H.E.M.
Musical number La Canción De Los Mariachis
Release date 13th March 2008 (GameTap)

14th March 2008 (Telltale Shop)

Sam & Max Season Two
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"Night of the Raving Dead" "What's new, Beelzebub?"

Chariots of the Dogs is the fourth and penultimate episode of season two of the Sam & Max video game series by Telltale Games.


After Flint Paper informs Sam & Max that Bosco has gone missing, the three of them bust into his store to look for clues. After messing around in the back room a bit, Sam and Max are abducted by a UFO themselves (Flint Paper is left behind). On board they quickly find Bosco, who has turned into a cow! As they soon find out, the UFO harbors a time traveling elevator which Bosco has stumbled into making him inadvertently alter his own past before he was born.

Sam and Max use the time machine for some meddling of their own and manage to restore Bosco to his old self, after which the three of them explore the UFO further. But when they get to the next room, they're surprised by the sudden appearance of T.H.E.M., who start singing La Canción De Los Mariachis. By the time the song ends the shock is too much to bear for Bosco and he dies of a heart attack. After that an accidental push of a button activates the Soul Crushing device and sends Bosco's soul to hell.

Sam & Max use various tricks and much more meddling with time to get all three of T.H.E.M. off the ship and seize control, but accidentally cause the ship's imminent destruction. As their past selves make off with the elevator, they have no choice but to go through the portal Bosco's soul was sent through. In the final scene, the spaceship -which is revealed to have the shape of a sombrero- explodes just as it reaches the beginning of time, thereby causing the creation of the universe.




  • In replacing the chicken at the beginning of the universe with an egg, Sam and Max temporarily changed time so that everyone refers to them as Max and Sam. This was confirmed in the commentary.
  • "If you explode it, T.H.E.Y. will come" is a reference to the 1989 film "Field of Dreams" alluding to the line "If you build it they will come"
  • "Yo no soy mariachi. ¡Soy capitán!" is a reference to the traditional Mexican folk song "La Bamba." The original line is "Yo no soy marinero; soy capitán," which roughly translates to "I am not a [mere] sailor; I am the captain."


This is a partially complete translation of the Spanish that the mariachis and a few other characters use.

Original line Translation
Señor Sir/Mister
Hola Hello
¿Qué? What?
Oh, bienvenidos, amigos. Oh, welcome, friends.
Yo soy el mariachi solitario I am a solitary mariachi
Por favor don't freak out if you see mariachis extraños Please don't freak out if you see strange mariachis
It's just me y mis vatos who wish you feliz cumpleaños It's just me and my guys who wish you happy birthday
And singing for birthdays on spec makes us poco dinero And singing for birthdays on spec makes us short on money.
And as long as we still get to sing, no importa nada And as long as we still get to sing, it's not important
¿Como estás, vaca hombre? How are you, cow man?
¡Muy bueno! Very good!
You're a terrible liar, señor perro. You're a terrible liar, Mister Dog.
¿Qué anda con el pollo? What's up with the chicken?
Please! ¡Señor perro! Please! Mister Dog!
Gracias, señor. Thank you, sir.
Jefe's log. Chief's log.
Oh, yo no soy mariachi. ¡Soy capitán! Oh, I am not mariachi. I'm captain!
¡Amigos, we are on course hasta la madre de todo los cumpleaños! Friends, we are on course for the mother of all birthdays!
Es muy importante that no one notice us It is very important that no one notice us
¿Qué? Uh, showtime, people! ¡Atención! What? Uh, showtime, people! Attention!
Entrega entrante. Incoming delivery.
Chapter ocho Chapter eight
¡Hola, Sam y Max! Hello, Sam and Max!
¡Madre de dios! Let's get out of here! Mother of God! Let's get out of here!
Good luck, Max y Sam! Good luck, Max and Sam!

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